Do you have a burning question you can’t ask your friends and shouldn’t ask Dr. Google? Ask Evolve! Email questions to alex@evolveptroc.com with the subject “Ask Evolve”. All questions are completely confidential!
“Dear Evolve, I’ve struggled with vaginal dryness for most of my sexually active life, and it does not seem to be linked to arousal at all! My partner and I are open to trying lubricant, but when I go to the drug store I get overwhelmed with the options. Are there specific things we should be looking for to have a great experience for both of us? – Confused in the Condom Aisle”
Dear Confused,
Not all lubricants are created equal and sexual arousal does not correlate with vaginal moisture, so this is a great question! To start with, there are some hard and fast rules: you want to avoid alcohol-based lubricants totally, avoid mixing silicone lubricant with silicone toys or accessories, and avoid oil-based lubricants if you’re using latex condoms. It’s also a good idea to avoid any product that offers “warming” or “tingling” sensations, as they can irritate your tissue and cause “burning”, which is not typically sexy. Getting a little more into the nitty gritty, we ideally want a lubricant that has a low osmolality (380 mOsm/kg or lower) and matches our pH. A product with a higher osmolality can draw fluid out of your tissues, which can lead to discomfort, infection, or tissue damage. Most products will not include this information on their packaging, but you can find it with a quick google search. A high pH can lead to vaginosis and other problems. Vaginal pH ranges between 3.8 and 4.5 and anal pH between 5.5 and 7. There are lubes that do specify if they should be used vaginally or anally, for the safest and most comfortable experience. After those recommendations, it becomes preference. There are a bunch of great brands out there. Some that we like are Good Clean Love, Uberlube, Ah! YES, Slippery Stuff, and Sliquid.
Another option that people often don’t think about is vaginal moisturizer. Like when the skin of our hands gets dry, irritation, itchiness and risk of infection can go up in our vulvar tissue as well. Consistent use of lotion on our hands can improve hydration, decrease irritation and decrease the risk of trauma or cracking, and this is similar to the vagina! The difference between moisturizer and lubricant is when you use it. Like lubricants, you want to avoid products with additives or fragrances. Lubrication should be used to decrease friction in the moment, which could be during partnered sexual activity, masturbation or during health procedures. Moisturizers should be used on a more consistent basis, anywhere from 3-7 days a week to create and maintain improved hydration. Again, there are many brands that work well, including brands like Good Clean Love, Sliquid, Ah! YES, and VMagic by Medicine Mama, and Coconut oil or Castor oil are also great options.
Lubricant can be a game-changer for many couples’ sexual comfort, and I hope that you find something that works for you and your partner (or partners – no judgements here!). There are many reasons why someone might have vaginal dryness, including hormonal changes from pregnancy/delivery, birth control, or menopause, medications for things ranging from allergies to depression, cancer treatments, or muscle tension. Lubricants cannot change these underlying reasons, but it can be helpful in reducing friction and discomfort. As always, if sex is uncomfortable, or you continue to struggle with sexual function, a pelvic floor physical therapist is a great resource for understanding how and why you’re having difficulty and helping you achieve the sexual function you deserve.
Vaginal moisturizers and lubricants: What’s the difference? Which do I buy? – Mayo Clinic Press
Hope you found this information helpful! Thanks for a great question,
– Dr. Alex Wilkes PT, DPT, PRPC, OCS
Dr. Alex Wilkes PT, DPT, PRPC, OCS is a pelvic health physical therapist at Evolve Physical Therapy of Rochester. She has over 13 years of clinical experience with specialty certifications in both pelvic health and orthopedics.
